Joined: 26 Mar 2007
|Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject: You might be a bad cook if...
|Not a recipe but I think it's a good addition here
You might be a bad cook if...
1. The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire
2. Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
3. You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
4. Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.
5. The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
6. Those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
7. You forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heat wave and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better.
8. You hate rice, but you keep finding it floating around in your beef stew.
9. Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.
10. The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.
ALSO, a nice tip:
This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven't seen listed in any cookbooks.While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke detectors going.Then you go rushing about the house, opening all the windows, setting up fans, and generally doing everything short of calling the fire department.Let the guests sit for about 1/2 hour at 50 degrees (as a result of opening the windows) and serve the food.By this point, you have established expectations in your guests' minds that you can't fail to exceed!
Feel free to PM me. If you've already posed in a thread feel free to link me. Sometimes I miss posts in threads for whatever reason. :)